Tagged with daum

ZOMBIE GAME RESTARTED

DAUM HALL—The popular game “Zombie vs. Humans” being played on campus this week as part of RiverFest has been reinitiated after being cancelled Tuesday.

The game consists of participants playing as “zombies” chasing after participants playing as “humans.”

According to the Daily Iowan, a student playing the game collided with a car while trying to avoid being tagged. Although the student was not injured, RiverFest decided to cancel gameplay to prevent further dangerous situations.

“I think the game is an important part of these students’ education,” said RiverFest spokeperson Kimberly McThayer. “What if zombies do attack us?”

McThayer said that it’s mostly Daum kids who play the game anyway, and “losing one of those dorks is a small price to pay for the real-life skills gained.”

“First, I was a human, and then some zombies came after me, and then I ran from them, but they didn’t catch me, so I hid out in the Blank Honors Center, and then they chased me, and then one of them almost got me,” said Daum kid Tyler Heesh, 19, before explaining the difference between comics and graphic novels to somebody.

“Students shouldn’t be banned from playing the game,” McThayer said, “just because one of their retard-friends decided to run out into traffic.”

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IOWA CITY SUCKS LESS WITHOUT ANY STUDENTS

IOWA CITY—Amid empty residence halls and starkly few pairs of tits showing themselves at local bars, the great city of Iowa City is halfway through its month-long slumber for winter vacation. Only pathetic losers whose families are dead or who don’t love them, and ugly dorks who live in Daum and Mayflower, will be spending the winter holiday in town this year. “I like how quiet it is,” freshman Talia Bresson said Friday. “It’s nice to be able to urinate in the snow on the Pentacrest in the middle of the day without anyone seeing.”  Bresson will be at Capanna until they close New Year’s Eve, and then maybe see if she can see any fireworks from the parking ramp behind Burge.

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