Tagged with english majors

SHELTER OPENS IN IOWA CITY FOR ENGLISH MAJORS’ NEGLECTED “FREELANCE OPPORTUNITIES” BOOKMARKS-FOLDERS

SOUTH SIDE—Sandy Richards, a philanthropist and lifetime Iowa City resident, has recently launched her most ambitious charitable endeavor yet: a shelter offering a hot meal and a place to sleep for all the long-forgotten Internet browser bookmarks-folders labeled “Freelance Opportunities” by University of Iowa English and Journalism majors.

“It’s just heartbreaking,” Richards said in an interview with The Iowa Iowan Tuesday. “I dare you to look at one of these bookmarks-folders and not feel something.”

Soon after computers became popular on college campuses, young writers at the UI began locating opportunities for submitting their work to magazines, newspapers, and literary reviews. “Most of these folders are just crammed with publications these kids will never get into, and then just forgotten about.”

“Sometimes the students will switch browsers,” said Richards. “And it’s just convenient to forget that their ‘Freelance Opportunities’ folder is still in Safari when they start using Firefox.”

“I guess there are about fifty links in my folder,” an English major who wished to remain anonymous told The Iowa Iowan via email. “C’mon, I don’t want to think about that.”

The Richards “Freelance Opportunities” Bookmarks-Folders Shelter welcomes walk-ins, but folders will be tested for earthwords before being admitted.

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ENGLISH MAJORS PLEDGE TO VOTE DEMOCRAT IN RESPONSE TO COLLEGE REPUBLICANS’ EMAIL TYPOS

ENGLISH-PHILOSOPHY BUILDING—All University of Iowa students received an email from the UI College Republicans Monday that sparked a vehement grammatical reaction from the University’s English majors.


Click here for full size.

The email from the College Republicans, under the subject “Conservative Coming Out Week,” was riddled with such offensive typos as who’s/whose confusion; missing or misplaced commas; unnecessary, missing, or misplaced apostrophes; and even the article “a” before the word “animal.”

English majors, despite being already predominantly left-wing, responded with a wave of announcements via blogs and sidewalk chalk of their intentions to vote exclusively democrat in all upcoming elections.

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